Friday, June 20, 2014

Days 7½ and 8 in Haiti

Day 7 had its share of patients that tugged at one’s heart, particularly one of Joyce’s. She had cervical cancer that was very advanced and there was no way to treat it. Joyce says it had to be at least 3 years late. I kept thinking of Dr. Paul Farmer’s concept of the “long defeat”. He says, “How about if I say, I have fought for my whole life a long defeat. How about that? How about if I said, that’s all it adds up to is defeat? I have fought the long defeat and brought other people on to fight the long defeat, and I’m not going to stop because we keep losing. Now I actually think sometimes we may win. I don’t dislike victory.

Sara Groves who took inspiration from this wrote a song called the long defeat. She makes the point that we are “so conditioned for a win, to share in victors’ stories, but in the place of ambition’s din, I have heard of other glories.” And “I can't just fight when I think I'll win; That's the end of all belief; And nothing has provoked it more than a possible defeat.”

I think of the cross, a criminal’s death, so much what seemed then a long defeat, and yet the battle is not ours but the Lord’s, and it ends in victory that will last. And we know that the Christian faith wears the resurrection on its sleeve clearly for all to see. But this doesn't come without the terrible darkness of Good Friday. Again, quoting Dr. Farmer responding to his classmates at Duke and Harvard who frequently challenged his faith, "“You want crucifixionYou ba----ds, I’ll show you crucifixion.

We spent the evening of Day 7 on the rooftop, and shared our one big takeaway from the trip. We went around in a circle and I was towards the end. For some reason my fevered brain kept thinking of only one thing- how cool it would be to have a zipline from the rooftop to Port au Prince. I wasn’t thinking much, so I said some things that came to mind. On more sober reflection, I think the one takeaway is the same I experience when I come across great acts for God- seeing Christ in the lives of people who are committed to Him. In these days of scandals involving priests, evangelists, megachurch pastors and other ecclesial or various leaders of faith, we need a Pauline (or Petrine if you are Catholic) figure towering above the rest to look up to. I’m glad to say that I have seen many such living saints, and this has been a rampart for my faith. We sat there on the rooftop against the darkening sky and I heard distant drumbeats eerily floating to us from the forests below. Dave told me those were voodoo drums. There is a lot of voodoo around the area. It felt strange to hear them with the mountain silhouetted against the sky in the night on one side and the glimmering lights of Port au Prince against the Atlantic Ocean downhill on the other. One of those moments when I think to myself, “Where have I come?”

We woke early in the morning on Day 8 and packed up our things and waited for the bus to Port au Prince, which was magnificently late. We often joke among friends about Indian Stretchable Time. It has nothing on Haitian Time. Clearly due to the non-existent infrastructure, the concept of time here is different from the world of our workaday world. The only way to deal with this and maintain one’s sanity is to relax and take on a laissez faire attitude towards unimaginable delays and unforeseen circumstances such as a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. Thankfully we did not suffer from the latter problem this time around, but Tom shared that it happened last year on the way back downhill.
A local bank on the way downhill

Prior to leaving we said goodbye to everyone. The kids were the most difficult to part with. I have never seen more trust, more smiles, or more innocence anywhere else. I took pictures with some of them- Jonathan who lives with Father Roosevelt at the rectory, little girls Missena and Gyn (?) both aged 9, a year younger than my daughter Emma. As the bus drove off, I felt a hollow feeling in my stomach, which I realized was not hunger, but an indication of how much I missed Alma and the kids. I kept thinking of these kids. It is no wonder that these missionaries broach the question of adoption each time they come. As I looked at the little girls when we drove away, I thought to myself: When I return the year after next, if HART will have me, will they retain their trust, their smiles? Will they suffer much when they, as they undoubtedly will, go through chikungunya, HTN and God forbid, the terrible ailments we saw? My thoughts turned to how it would be if these girls were with us at our home in Wheaton, playing with Emma and David, how wonderful it would be. People who know me well know I almost never tear up, but as these thoughts raced through my mind I couldn't hold back. Thank God I had my sunglasses on.
Missena and Gyn

With Jonathan (right) and his friend 


We drove through Port au Prince and stopped at Patrick’s home because his daughter was sick. Joyce examined her and thought it must be the beginning of chikungunya. While Joyce was with the patient, I talked at length to Dr. Carol about Paul Farmer- she said she will read it and ask her kids to read it as well. I never tire of recommending it to people, though I give them the disclaimer about slightly colorful language, especially if they are Christian.  

Then we stopped at a store called 'The Apparent Project' (http://www.apparentproject.org/) where we bought arts and crafts created by local artisans. I bought a beaded necklace for Alma made out of clay. They make these necklaces because Haitians eat clay from the acute hunger. It is a reminder of this horrendous plight. I bought similar other things for the kids. We ran into a blonde girl working there and talking in Creole to the Haitians working there. She said 5 years ago she had come to explore, didn't know Jesus, and had now changed and working there in marketing. Tom, to my surprise, jumped in and said, "We are Catholics." He let me know he does to surprise non-Catholic believers and to see their reaction. The girl kept smiling but I think she was surprised. Then Tom pointed to me and said, "We are all Catholics except him- he is a Wheaton boy. We decided to take him with us." She said they get a lot of people from Wheaton. I wonder who.

We then drove to our hotel, a Best Western, the only one of its kind in the city. This area of town is called Petionville, the wealthy area of town. Sean Penn has a home here. That is not saying it looks like it could belong in Hollywood, much less in Bollywood. But it does have the consuls and diplomats’ residences. We entered the hotel, and let out a collective gasp. It was very much like a US hotel. Tom and I are sharing a room. Looking out our window it felt odd to see the dirt and grime of Port au Prince and the clean order of our hotel room. It is a 4 ½ star hotel. I looked at our bags which traveled downhill separately from us, in a pickup truck. They were covered with thick grey dust.

Later today we plan to go to a local orphanage to distribute rice, beans, medicines and candy. 

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Day 7 in Haiti

I feel much better though I’m yet to completely recover. I’d rather fall sick at home than here but at a place where there are 6 doctors and 5 nurses, there is no denying the care you receive if you do fall sick. I got plenty of meds, helpful advice and a lot of TLC, including a shout out from a nurse about my prayers for the people. What more does an affirmation junkie need?

This is not our last day in Haiti but is the day we wrap up the medical camp. We go to Port au Prince tomorrow morning to spend the day at a nice hotel by Haiti standards. I guess we can only take so much of sharing space in cramped rooms and bathroom rules that declare “if it’s yellow let it mellow, but if it’s brown flush it down”. I can’t say I won’t be relieved. The hotel also lessens our “reverse culture shock” when we reenter the US, which the missionaries have reported in the past.

The triage area again went well. We took pictures with some kids holding up signs saying thank you to Fed Ex, a church and a minor league baseball team, which sponsored some gifts. I left some of my clothes behind for Father Roosevelt. I will leave my guitar behind after tonight’s worship as well.


Among tough cases, one of the students reported a case of a child having worms in her nose! I have to say that these students will have seen far more unusual cases than even the docs who travel to other third world countries. Haiti is a unique place.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Days 5 and 6 in Haiti

The triage area is a now well-oiled machine- it’s amazing what duct tape can do. We sealed off the boundaries and gave definition to the path a visitor needs to take. There is no more jumping the line or squabbles as to who came first. Human beings anywhere are naturally prone to getting ahead of each other when they are desperate to get something for which everyone is clamoring. The way to address this is to give the process definition and set boundaries which are visible. Someone jumping the line when there are clearly marked dividers does so in full view of everyone else. When there are no such markers, standing haphazardly may well mean inviting someone to get ahead. A structure- that’s what makes the US work at airports, movie theaters, Dairy Queen or just about any place. It works just as well in Haiti.

Joyce and I had the opportunity to speak to the crowd of people in the mornings on days 5 and 6. I love how the Haitians interact with the speaker. Unlike in most of our churches, they think of a sermon as a conversation. African Americans tend to do this more often in the US, but I find the Haitian version less a cultural type than it is a normal way to process the word of God.

We found several cases- a girl with chikungunya, covered with rashes, a skinny pregnant woman who ate on 3 times a week as her husband had lost his job 7 years ago and never got another one (she was severely dehydrated), and several others- that makes one wonder how we could live with the ambivalence.

Oriol, one of the choir directors came up and played some songs on the guitar with me. I gave him several pages in a binder that contained musical notation for many hymns and songs. I plan to give the guitar to Father Roosevelt when I leave.

A trip like this brings about several interesting reflections and conversations. One topic that frequently comes up among the missionaries is the question that many ask of us- why go all the way to Haiti when there are so many poor in the US. This is, in my experience, a smokescreen for their guilt. It is usually asked by people who have not themselves done anything for the poor either in the US or anywhere else. This guilt is not necessarily a bad thing. As Paul Farmer says we experience ambivalence when we see poverty juxtaposed against our prosperity. There are 2 choices we could make when we experience this- either do something about it or make excuses. As he says in Mountains beyond Mountains, “among a coward's weapons, cynicism is the nastiest of all”.

In the evening on Day 5, Dr. Tom and I visited the homes of 2 of our Haitian helpers- Markenson and Enock (sic). Markeson is planning to come to Chicago on September 29 with Father Roosevelt, and I would like to meet up with him and Tom. I felt great to visit them and build those relationships. Markenson lost his mom in the 2010 earthquake- her grave site is in the compound of his home, marked by a cross. He lives with his brother. Enock is a younger guy who is very friendly. He introduced us to his family- mom, his younger brother and his friend who was finishing up his dinner at their home. A cow, a bull and chicken roamed about the yard. Funnily enough, after I finished praying for some patients in the triage, he asked me if I were a Catholic or a Protestant. It felt great to tell him I'm a follower of Jesus. Was that a cop out? If it was, I don't care.

I could take hours to write about the great helpers we have- Philippe who doesn't take a lunch break in the triage, Robbins who lost his dad last week and is trying to raise funds for his funeral, all the while spending entire days with us at the clinic, and so many others.

I came down with a cough and mild feverishness on Day 6, but I’m quickly recovering. The chik virus doesn’t bring about sniffles and Dr. Tom told me it is good to have the cold as viruses compete for dominance of the body. So if you have the cold, the chik virus may not get a chance to operate.

We distributed Bibles in church today, the Creole version of NIV. Everyone wanted one- where there is a famine for the word of God people treasure their Bibles.

“I think Farmer taps into a universal anxiety and also into a fundamental place in some troubled consciences, into what he calls "ambivalence," the often unacknowledged uneasiness that some of the fortunate feel about their place in the world, the thing he once told me he designed his life to avoid.”

― Tracy Kidder, Mountains Beyond Mountains: The Quest of Dr. Paul Farmer, A Man Who Would Cure the World

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Day 4 in Haiti

A day unlike any other so far. We began the clinic in the morning after the mass. Dr. Graves (Tom) stood outside the gate and spoke to the crowd of people who had come, “We have come because we love Jesus.” One of our team, Dave, led us all in singing and a student, Conor, talked about his prayer for God to work through him.

I was a little frustrated in the beginning because the task of maintaining order in the triage was getting to me. I kept reminding myself what I was here for and why I wanted to come. Eventually the task became easier and new ideas came up that helped me manage the crowd. I saw members of the team smiling as they did their work and giving me a thumbs up every now and then, and felt convicted that my frustration was not good. I prayed and felt that God was prompting me to pray for patients waiting in line at the clinic to see a doctor. So I went there and started laying my hands on and praying for each one, specifically for the sickness stated on each triage form. More and more patients began to thrust their triage forms into my hands asking me to pray. I prayed for most of them. As Sara Groves said, “your faith has changed me, your hope inspires, your courage asked me what I knew of love, and your courage asked me what I knew of God.”


I came back after lunch and finished triage duties. The highlights of this day was a pregnant woman who came into the triage with high blood pressure, whom Joyce diagnosed to have preeclampsia. She decided to induce the baby in order to save its life. After 8 hours, baby Frank was born and the lives of both baby and mom were saved. One of the Haitian team members told me, "This is why God will always bless you." Father Roosevelt told me, “That Joyce is awesome- she should stay here forever.” After we discharged the woman, she had to walk to her home which was nearby. This was a makeshift hospital which we needed to use the next day. Her family members accompanied her and she went home limping! As we walked back in the tick Haitian night, Brun told me in a hushed tone, “This was a miracle.” I nodded and then he asked me, “At any point were you afraid for the baby’s life?” I said I wasn’t, but I was scared for the mom’s life. I told him that when we were expecting Emma, Alma asked me a few times, “Am I going to die?” I now tease her about it.

Did I not write yet about watching the second half of the US Ghana game? That shows how much electricity was in the air. It was indeed, as Brun said, a miracle. I'll never forget it.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Day 3 in Haiti

Day three. Tough to put everything to words. We did a lot of work setting up the clinic. I’m slightly nervous or excited about tomorrow. Over a thousand people will show up. We did my favorite thing- worshiped with singing for over 1 hour. In the morning we attended the service at the makeshift church. As it was in Creole,I did not understand most of it. Some I made do with my limited knowledge of French. I recorded some of the singing during the service and it was awesome, very joyful. Kids swarmed about us today, asking for things. One wanted my camera, another my sunglasses, still another my hat. I plan to give a lot of things away on my return but not those three- the hat because it is not mine to give. 

The poverty doesn't shock me- I've seen similar levels of lack in India. But the fact that nearly everyone seems poor is unsettling. In India both fabulous wealth and grinding poverty are easily visible, and it is easy to see that the society is truly mixed. Not so much here. The rich are far away in enclaves of their own, but I was told that the land this village sits on, including the rectory, school, and the church we are building, are all owned by rich people who let all this happen. All the land is owned. I wonder how all this happens. If in a country there are 7 million people, and only a handful of people own all the land there is, surely this must have come about in a devious manner. How could people be dispossessed of land except by force? Surely these people must have land from the past to lay claim to.


But of course, from Gary Haugen’s writings and others like Paul Farmer and Tracy Kidder, we know how this happens. The same story in every single third world country. Mounting debts, paying it off through unfair labor practices or some other means of giving up fundamental rights. Nothing new under the sun.

Day 2 in Haiti

June 14, 2014

Today was an off day- we had time to relax. We went for a hike to see a quarry from which they were mining smooth sand to make cinder blocks and cement. They had carved down from a high mountain down to a canyon using minimal heavy machinery. Dump trucks which were used before in the US trafficked back and forth through the unpaved, bumpy paths. When we came back I found a kid with a soccer ball. We played for about an hour passing the ball back and forth. An older kid- perhaps in his late teens- came up and wanted to play. He challenged me to a dribble contest. We dribbled for about 15 minutes against each other- he was very good, like street kids in most of Latin America. It was great and I enjoyed every minute- but I soon realized how much older I had become since my soccer days, when my heart started panting faster. I came back and finished off 2 bottles of water and a cup of Gatorade, before polishing off a granola bar and one hour later, lunch. Hypoglycemia- I need to refuel fast in these situations.

Others from our team went for a longer hike up the mountain. They came back and let us know they’d seen big, beautiful homes like the ones you see in Grosse Pointe. Owned by wealthy Haitians. Makes one wonder. Injustice in the third world works that way. A narrow band of the wealthy and powerful lords it over the poorest people in the world, all the while denying their claims to public wealth and restoration. Something I know only too well in India, and even in the US.          Wealthy Haitians are mainly government employees. Many of them got wealthier after the earthquake in 2010 by getting checks from the government for the damages they sustained, and now they are living it up.

In the evening there was another soccer game, but I was worn out and didn’t play. It was very good, though short on strategy. Reminds me of street kids in Kerala who are good at the game. I think this is the root of the Latin American prowess in soccer- individualism and flair, as opposed to strategy, technique, method, etc in Europe. Of course, I’m generalizing, but these countries have been known for fielding one or two star players who carry the game on their shoulders, the most famous of course being Diego Maradona in Mexico 86. Everyone thought it was crazy to assume that one player could help Argentina get to the top, but he did and they did. Compare that to 1990 Germany whose captain Jürgen Klinsmann, now US coach, led them to the cup. The team was a symbol of German precision engineering. Both great styles, and both work for the teams that field them.

Day 1 in Haiti

June 13 2014

This is our first day in Haiti. We landed in the afternoon and spent 2 hours waiting in the airport for the luggage and later waiting in a big van with 16 others from our team, as well as our coordinator Patrick and Brun, a police officer who came with us. After this we drove through what seemed to me like a mountain path cut with handheld tools to Father Roosevelt’s rectory. We talked along the way about poverty in the Third World, similarities with India and so on. But even with the crushing load of poverty India has, I don’t think a road so bumpy and treacherous leading out of any city exists anywhere in India. I’m beginning to understand Dr. Paul Farmer’s reasoning behind his bad back as being the difficult travel from Port au Prince to the central plateau and back.

Most of what we travelled through in Port-au-Prince felt like an extended Mumbai slum with no end in sight. While I was prepared to find poverty and was not shocked, the sheer pervasiveness of it throughout the city was something I had not expected. Joyce had prepared me for this but it was clearly not enough. I had expected some nice looking places, but I did not find one along the way. Curiously I found, among signs advertising John Deere, Peugeot and other Western brands, both Mahindra and Tata showrooms. Besides these occasional glimmers of private capital at work, most of what I saw was wretchedness. The arguments against “poverty porn” seem to fizzle out against such a staggering reality. The effects of the 2010 earthquake have not yet fully disappeared. It was sweet to see the faces of kids smiling at us from outside the van windows as we went by. For a moment I thought of Pat Robertson’s insensitive comment about the earthquake being God’s judgment upon the Haitians for practicing voodoo. More flippancy upon the wretched of the earth.

We arrived at Father Roosevelt’s place after a 2 hour drive along this bumpy mountain path and were greeted by kids and youth who live nearby or at the rectory. After spending some time setting up our mosquito nets, we had lunch and gathered at the rooftop to worship. I played the guitar and we sang ’10,000 reasons’, ‘Blessed be the Name’ and other such songs. I feel this group has been so kind and hospitable to me to let me come with them, all under the pretext of being an alleged “worship leader”. What a deal! Father Roosevelt spoke briefly and talked about demonstrating Jesus’ love to the people. Very touching. I found the same mango variety in the rectory compound (‘moovandan’) that we have at my parents’ home in Cochin. It is a beautiful place, full of trees we know and love in Southern India, especially what we call the ‘Gulmohar’ or the flame of the forest.


We checked out the church Father Roosevelt is building, the school, the clinic and a nearby half-finished outdoor stage-like place, where the local youth had gathered around a TV set to watch the Australia vs Chile soccer match. I got to practice my French on some unsuspecting Haitians who obliged me by responding in English. I continued firmly in French. This should be the subject of a sitcom- it would make for good viewing provided you knew both languages. What great kids- they parted with me saying God bless you. I’m looking forward to tomorrow, when we will visit the village. On Sunday we set up the clinic and from Monday through Thursday we will see patients. I will work the ‘triage’ or intake area with one of our team. Looking forward to it.